That’s Funny Stuff and I would call cock n bull shit.

 That’s Funny Stuff and I would call cock n bull shit

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his:

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out. "Business trip or pleasure?"

She turned, smiled, and said. "Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked. “What’s your Business at this convention?"

“Lecturer." She responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

“Really?” He spoke. “And what kind of myths are there?”

“Well.” She explained. “One popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers when actually it is men of Mexican descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I’m sorry." She said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name."

"Tonto." The man said. "Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba."

Another sit from Uncle Sam.

 

Juliane Koepcke - History on snapshot. The real survivor. Miracle?

Juliane Koepcke

17-year-old Juliane Koepcke was sucked out of an airplane in 1971 after it was struck by a bolt of lightning. She fell 2 miles to the ground, still strapped in her seat, and survived after spending 10 days in the Amazon jungle.

After ten days, she found a boat moored near a shelter, and found the boat's fuel tank still partly full. Koepcke poured the gasoline on her wounds, which she in turn thought it helped with killing the maggots in her wounds. Out of 93 passengers and crew, Juliane was the only survivor of the Lansa flight 508 crash that took place December 24th, 1971.

PICTURE OF HAPPINESS_

Nazim Hikmat, the great Turkish Poet, once asked his friend Abidin Dino

(Turkish artist and a well-known painter too), to draw a picture of HAPPINESS. He drew a picture of a whole family, cramped up on a broken bed, under a leaky roof, in a shabby room, but still with a smile on the face of each member !!

It goes without saying that the painting became very famous.

Yes, Happiness is not the absence of suffering but acceptance of suffering. See good around you, even in trying situations ..stop worrying about things, which are beyond your control.. stay happy...”

And everybody deserves a second chance.

 "He came into my restaurant asking me for some money. I looked at him and asked him why don’t have a job? You are strong & healthy from what it appears. And nothing was ever given to me for free.. right?

The man responded, “ I have a lot of felonies, and nobody wants to hire me because of that. I had to turn to the streets. I had to start stealing and robbing, in order to survive”

I was short-staffed that day, so I asked him.. “do you want to work”?

His eyes opened up so wide and a big smile came across his face, and he said yes!! He said I will do anything for some food.

So for two weeks now, he has been on time for his two-hour shift. He helps me with taking out the trash and doing the dishes. I pay him at the end of each shift, and you know what he decides to do? Is to spend it in the restaurant on some nice warm food.

I try to offer it to him for free, but he refuses.. so I discount it all. He told me today that he enjoys being able to finally pay for something, and that it makes him feel good inside.

The moral of this story is to do something nice for someone no matter what their situation is. Even if they are asking you for some spare change because we really don’t know their story, or what they are going through. And everybody deserves a second chance.